Grace Schacterle

Grace Schacterle

Disordered

2021

Plaster, Acrylic paint, Dirt, Hair gel

45 x 28 x 11 in

   Disordered is a piece that represents those with mental illness, specifically Anxiety, Depression, and/or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I have struggled with all of these throughout my life, so I wanted to create something that shows how they cause me to feel sometimes. The hand clenching the heart represents anxiety. For me, I have Generalized Anxiety with panic attacks, so sometimes I get a tight feeling in my chest that feels like someone is squeezing my heart. The hand that is laying in the dirt represents Depression. Unfortunately, in many people, including a friend of mine, severe Depression leads to suicide. The dirt is there to represent a grave. And the cut can represent both a method of suicide, or self harm, which can also be common among people with Depression. Lastly, is the hand that is drowning. That one represents PTSD because when you are traumatized from something, it can feel like you are drowning in your past due to flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive memories, etc. When making this piece, it was important to me that I used my own hands because I wanted it to show my experiences with these illnesses. And for the anxiety hand, it's as if I am clenching my own heart, which can feel similar to when I am having an anxiety attack and my brain is forcing me to spiral. For some people, it may make more sense to view these as 3 separate pieces. But it was important to me to display them as one entire piece because when you have more than one mental illness, like I do, it is not the same as having 3 completely separate health problems. They are all connected, and they all affect each other in my brain, so I displayed them in a triangular formation to show the connection they have to each other and to me.